Should Married Men be Allowed to Cheat?
May 23, 2013

James raises the problem of boredom in marriage.
He says men are programmed to seek variety, and should be allowed some slack. I welcome reader feedback and will give my own later.
by James
(henrymakow.com)
Agree with all you say here, about marriage and the man-woman bond.
The trouble with marriage is that after some time boredom sets in. It seems unavoidable, in most marriages. Have never seen this discussed here, though. The fact that man is naturally polygamous seems to have something to do with it. And isn't it God who made us that way?
(TV's #1 philanderer, Madman's Don Draper) Yet our cultural "leaders" have carefully crafted movies and TV shows of happy marriages, in which one little misstep or fling by the husband with another woman becomes fodder for the most terrible of dramas and tantrums by the wife that inevitably must lead to divorce and family break-up. That has developed into something of a subversive standard formula the TV Jews have foisted on people (with a litany of other family destroying machinations).
Why not be a little more forgiving with men who have a romp in the hay out of the house? Most men still love their wives and family and would never think of abandoning them. Mankind has been like that for millions of years and it hasn't changed yet since we became "civilized". We can either be honest about it or sweep it under the rug.
I know the purists will be outraged about this but never mind their torpedoes and accusations of promoting Sodom and Gomorrah. This is meant to honestly explore whether - absent the artificial formula of the TV b*stards - it could save families that (almost unnecessarily?) break up.
FIDELITY OVERRATED
It went like this: You live in a tribe with a strong and good leader, clearly the best man. You have to choose to have kids from one of the regular guys in the tribe and have him all for yourself. Or you could be one of the wives of the leader and have kids from him. But you share him with other women. He is not exclusively yours.
I expected some kind of contest between the two positions. Surprise, not one woman wanted to have kids from a regular guy who is not the best. They all wanted kids from the strong leader, even when they had to share him with other women.
Makow Comment- Fidelity is essential to a marriage. If men sow their wild oats before marriage, they will know that infidelity isn't the answer to marital boredom. I posted James' comment because it is provocative and would enlist interesting reactions.
You can find this article permanently at http://henrymakow.com/2013/05/should-married-men-be-allowed.html
Henry Makow received his Ph.D. in English Literature from the University of Toronto in 1982. He welcomes your comments at
Comments for "Should Married Men be Allowed to Cheat?"
Dan said (May 24, 2013):
Matt 19: 8-12
8 Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. 9 I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”
10 The disciples said to him, “If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.”
11 Jesus replied, “Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. 12 For there are eunuchs who were born that way, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others—and there are those who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.”
--end quote---
Causa finita est.
The reason James provides for polygamy is lust. "Boredom" is a pollite way of saying the man's wife just doesn't make his dick anymore. He needs a woman he doesn't know so he can focus on her tits and ass so he can get it up.
In the marriage Jesus was talking about, love between one husband and several wives is impossible, for holy matrimony is the formation of one mind out of two, and polygamy destroys this. "Love": that is divided among several partners is not true marriage love, but lasciviousness. It's also quite GAY.
So please don't drag Jesus into your petty sexual fantasies. Holy marriage is only possible between a man and woman who have placed God FIRST in their lives - even ahead of a hard penis.
Tony B said (May 24, 2013):
f you want to cheat, don't get married. Find a partner as one-track, dumb-assed as you are. Neither of you will be happy with your sex life - or each other. Did your parents satisfy your every whim, proper or improper, as a spoiled brat kid? Did the public schools successfully dumb you down to the point that you can't discern the difference between right and wrong? You fit right in to the "new age" bunk.
anon said (May 24, 2013):
Cheat? God's law allows for more than one wife. Nothing in the new testament forbids a man to have multiple wives. St. Paul wrote to one church saying the bishops should have only one wife. This was the law of that time, the roman law. He didn't want trouble with the proconsuls. It is in no way a command to us. And was a.command only to the.bishops then. Islam is more godly than current Christianity in its marriage law. Chinese are more realistic also. God's law is perfect. It plainly allows polygamy. Most 'christian' women hate that law because they hate GOD.
Arina said (May 23, 2013):
Boredom in marriage comes from either complete ignorance of God, or from an unequal yoke (2 Corinthians 6:14). If the yoke is equal in the Lord, then both spouses’ prospects exceed by far the physical level, and there’s harmony and fidelity. The purpose of marriage is beyond physical. The purpose of mankind is beyond physical. Everything should be considered at the spiritual level. The body is but a vehicle. Its instincts should be subdued and kept into obedience by the God-given spirit. Boredom does not exist. It is only a strange impression of our carnal, worldly nature lacking true spiritual understanding. It is a lowly temptation, but we have to catch it, denounce it and fight it. If we do, we will receive help and we will overcome it in Christ Jesus: “In the world you shall have tribulation; but take courage: I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)
Andrew said (May 23, 2013):
When you posted the essay about “social capital,” it reminded me of the structure of a traditional family.
There has been a quiet movement, called Christian Polygamy or Christian Patriarchy (non-Mormon), in which marriage is an agreement between individuals and not licensed by the state.
Traditional sex roles would be a part of the contract.
This modern movement strongly disdains the concept of any sex outside of marriage but forgets that concubinage was permissible in
Biblical times, especially when she was not a bondmaid and not betrothed.
Hagar received a blessing, typically overlooked by the Judeo-Christian tradition, She was not married and not assumed to be in adultery. Also, see Leviticus 19:20-22, Proverbs 30:21-23
The patriarchal nucleus of the world's largest family is said to be Ziona Chana, a putative Christian, who does not support them all on
one salary. Would his personal life be legal in your jurisdiction?
Dominique said (May 23, 2013):
There is no excuse to be a cheater. Relationships are built on trust and nothing less. Boredom isn't any excuse to seek out other women any more than the desire for children justifies a pedophile's vile actions. In fact, in the Bible adultery is grounds enough to be granted a divorce (Matthew 5:32). We are ultimately responsible for our actions as we are rational beings. Blaming infidelity on supposed "genetic hardwiring" (who funded THAT study?) is nothing less than a cheap excuse for a lack of self-control and personal responsibility. After all, God disagrees as He will hold everyone responsible for their actions and NOT their "genetics".
Grace said (May 23, 2013):
Women can get bored too so they should just go out and "romp in the hay" and the husband should just say okay no biggie. Also seems like a great idea to teach kids this too. Oh and the husband is also responsible for raising the children born from the wife's cheating too because women are programmed to try and have children with men and diversify the human gene pool- just look at chimps. Yeah great idea lets all just behave like chimps and do whatever we want without consequences because we get "bored" with human things like fidelity or loyalty or responsibility. Great idea dude.



"And the earth was without form, and
void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep.
If a woman isn't chosen and used for a higher purpose, she never realizes herself and remains unfulfilled. If she is discarded after having sex, the sting is all the sharper. In her soul, the sex act is a living metaphor for the love of God. This may explain the elemental wrath of the scorned woman. 
(left, Darwin puppet)











JC said (May 24, 2013):
I suppose that since our culture has become one where lying and cheating is acceptable in almost areas of society your premise is acceptable.
However, that doesn't make it right. Right in this context refers to integrity. Marriage is much more than a physical or legal bond between a man and a woman.
Successful marriages are ones based on mutual trust and living together in truth and integrity. Tell me what about cheating has anything to do with integrity?